WI Vacation, June 2011: Day #2

After my parents picked us up at Katie's house on Sunday, they insisted we stop at this Chinese Buffet in Menomonie before heading to my grandma's house. We were anxious to arrive at her house to unwind a little bit, unpack a few things, and get settled just a smidge before all of the family was expected to arrive. My grandma had planned a family reunion of sorts and the total number of people was right around 30. I had a special outfit planned for Austin, one that his Aunt Cheryl had given him, and despite the craziness of the past day, he was in a great mood!

Austin clowning around on Grandma's rocking chair.

My Grandma LaPean (whose house we were staying at and who was hosting the family event... A LaPean family event) invited my Grandma Mattison to join us for the event, and she was thrilled as she'd never met Austin before. She currently lives in an assisted living facility near Menomonie, and Grandma LaPean lives in Eau Claire, so my dad went and picked her up. (I have always loved how many events have included both sets of my grandparents. I have several memories with both sides present, and I've always cherished that.) Below are a few shots Seth was able to capture as I was first introducing her to Austin. He loved her immediately!

Grandma Mattison and Austin meeting for the first time.

I love this picture!

Just as things were wrapping up, my Grandma decided that we needed to get a few photos taken. I didn't get one of the entire group, but this first one is me and my first cousins. Pam, Trisha, Me, Katie, Alan, and Mike.... with spouses/partners and children if applicable. I hadn't seen my cousins in several years, so it was great to get these pictures. And then I asked if it would be ok if we got a picture of just the second cousins together. Grandma happened to be on the porch when they gathered, so we posed her in the background.

Grandma LaPean with her great-grandchildren: Cody, Louis, Alex, Kaylee, McKenna, and Austin.

The whole time we were taking pictures, the guy across the street nearly broke his neck he was staring us down so hard. Grandma said later that he probably thought she'd died and that that was why so many cars had piled up outside. But, sorry, dude, she's alive and well! (It was funny how obvious he was about watching us!) After we were done taking pictures, we set Austin down in the grass and ended up taking a few 'photography shots' while everyone was saying Goodbye. The only thing I don't like is that his shorts seemed to have ridden up. He's wearing a romper and he looks pants-less!

Once everyone left, it was time to feed Austin, and all the excitement from the previous two days finally caught up to him. It was early to bed for him that night. Which was good, because Seth and I were also ready to just chill for awhile. We'd been going nonstop since we'd arrived, and literally not moving felt so good! Plus, we had a fairly busy Monday planned, so we needed to get our minds in the right place for the next day.

Sound asleep on daddy's lap...

WI Vacation, June 2011: Travel and Day #1

Seth, Austin, and I recently took a week-long vacation to northern WI. My origins. We flew DFW to MSP really early on a Saturday morning, and despite the early rising, Austin was in a great mood most of the airport time and flight. I hobbled along wearing my boot (from the sprained ankle) and Austin in the Bjorn, rolling my carry-on with the diaper bag atop. Seth carried his backpack and our large duffel (which still counted as small enough for a carry-on, so yay no extra baggage fees!) It was quite the scene, I'm sure, but we made it, and we're stronger together for having survived it. :-)

How Austin spent most of the flight: Sitting on the tray table playing with toys.

When we arrived at MSP, my friend Katie and her son, Oliver, were waiting for us. After a quick stop at Target for some baby-related supplies, we unwound a little at her house in Cottage Grove, MN before heading out to Lake Calhoun. It was a gorgeous Saturday afternoon, and Austin had a blast on the playground!

Just one of the many surprisingly age-appropriate pieces of equipment in the playground.

Austin: 7.5 months; Oliver: 2 years, 10 months

Austin LOVED swinging!

After the lake, we stopped and bought some ice cream from a little, local place before heading home. Katie and I talked so much that Oliver started getting jealous! ;-) He finally crashed hard and took a good long nap which allowed Katie to prepare homemade lasagna/garlic bread and peach pie/homemade vanilla ice cream (OMG, it was good!) while I chatted her ear off. Seth was great, seemingly sensing the deep need I had to reconnect with my friend, and took care of Austin nearly 100%. (This was a trend he continued throughout the trip, too! :-) 

Oliver decided he needed to help Austin experience this book.

"Momma, I love it here at the Welters'. They're so nice!"

The next morning, we (Katie, Seth, Austin, and I) went to the original location of John Piper's church in Minneapolis. It was pretty much the only thing that Seth had hoped to see/do/accomplish while up there, so it was a no-brainer. My parents were waiting in Katie's driveway when we got home from church, and the rest of the day is enough for its own post!

My big regret from the time we spent with Katie, Chris, and Oliver is that I didn't take any Welter/Spofford pictures! I meant to get a picture of Austin with each of my friends/family members we visited while up there, and Katie and I did so much talking that I totally forgot! I hadn't seen the Welters since Oliver was ~4months old, so picture taking was really overdue, too. I am glad, though, to have spent that much time with them and to have captured Austin and Oliver together! Thanks, guys for having us. It was WONDERFUL!

"Subscribing" vs. "Following"

I'm relatively new to the Land of Blogging, and through much laughter, hysteria, frustration, tears, and assistance from friends, I finally figured out the answer to the Age Old Question: To Follow or To Subscribe?

Those of you who are newbies might also appreciate the discovery I have made. However, if you're not so new to blogging (either blogging yourself or reading other peoples'), you probably already know this information and might want to skip to a different entry. ;-)

It turns out that "Following" is about having just that... a following. That is, it is a sort of record of people who have been to your blog, probably read something, and then clicked on a link allowing them to be "Followers." It does not necessarily mean that they read it every day or that they will get automatic updates when you post something new. It's akin to "Like"ing something on Facebook. It shows that you've been there, that you like something about it, and want to show your support. "Following" is another way of saying "I like what you're doing here, I support you. Go You!" This is fine, and does have its place, but not with the sort of blog that I'm attempting to have.

"Subscribing," on the other hand, is about being intimate with the content of the blog. Since this blog is personal and private, I won't be broadcasting when I post something new. The only way my readers (something else entirely which I'll get to in a second) will know if I've posted something new (since, as previously mentioned, I won't be broadcasting that fact via Facebook or the like) is to go check the blog or check their Google Homepage. Both seemed tedious, and since I write things that I want my close people to actually read, I set about finding a way to solve the problem. 

Adding the "Subscription" aspect solves that. It took awhile for me to get all the kinks out (Thanks SW, SS, and JL!!!!), but if you subscribe via the little box to the right --->, the site will automatically send an email to you alerting you that there's new content. That way, you don't have to randomly go check to see if I've added something. It will also give you a preview of the post and you can decide for yourself if you're interested in reading more about it if and when you have the time.

Having "Followers" for my blog doesn't make sense because I'm not trying to track the number of people who support me or trying to gain a fan club of sorts. It also doesn't make sense because my blog requires being a Reader (further info coming soon!). I simply didn't think that having that option was a good fit for me. (Sorry if you'd already signed up and notice that it's now removed!)

Now, becoming a "Reader" is something different entirely. Some peoples' blogs are public. It's a site that everyone can go to. Like Yahoo.com or CNN.com, etc. Anyone with an internet connection and a computer can visit those blogs. Mine is not like that. Mine is set up to only allow a select group of people to view it. Other people can type the name into their address bar, but it won't allow them to view the material because it's blocked. To overcome this (which you already have if you're reading this right now) is to become a "Reader." 

I simply type in your email address to my settings, and once you create a Google account (if you didn't already have one), you are allowed to view it. I am allowed to have up to 100 "Readers" view my blog. I don't think I have nearly that many friends and family that I desire to share my information with, so that's plenty! Another thing I want to make note of is that I haven't automatically added anyone (well, except Seth, I think). I have waited for people (even my best friends) to either make a direct comment about their desire to read it or hint around about it in such a way as to make me think that they want to read it.

I'm not blogging so that I become famous. I'm not doing it because I'm assuming myself to be an expert at some particular topic. I'm not doing it because I think myself "so cool" that people want to read what I have to say. (Even if I do think I'm pretty cool...) I'm blogging because I love to write and this is an easy creative outlet for me: it's free, doesn't take very much time, and is another way for me to share my life with those most closely invested in my life.

If you are reading this, it means you have become a "Reader." But, the question is, Have you become a "Subscriber?" I highly recommend doing it. It's SO much simpler on your end. You won't ever have to wonder if you've missed something.... I wish all blogs I like to read had this option!

The Next Michael Phelps?

I don't remember a summer, growing up, during which I didn't take swimming lessons. My mom says I was in lessons before I could walk. I don't remember those specifically, but I do remember going all the way to the top level, and I regret not taking the life guard certification class. Still to this day, I wish I had done that.  I wonder how good I could have been if my school had a swim team. I wonder if swimming would have been 'my sport.'

I'm not sure if the lessons were important to my parents because we lived on a river or what, but the importance they placed on them has now been instilled in me, and I want my children to take lessons all the way to the top. (Especially since we're active members in our community pool and we make several trips to the Seth's uncle's house (on Granbury lake) every summer.) 

I want Austin (and any other future children) to be able to develop a healthy respect of water. I want him to understand that if it's not respected, it can be deadly. But I also want him to have as much fun as that body of water will allow. I want him jumping in off the side of the pool (or from the boat into the lake). I want him to ski. I want him to pick toys off the bottom. I want him to use goggles and hold his breath. I want him to love the water! But, I also want him to be safe.

So, we've enrolled Austin in lessons at Emler Swim School. Here's a link. He's in the first level of Waterbabies. The goal for this first level is to develop 8-10 seconds of breath control under water. ! There are several levels, and the first couple involve me getting in the water and doing things with him, but eventually, starting at like age two, they'll be guided by the teacher to independently move 7-10 feet through the water. When I first read that on the website, I thought that seemed like a bit of a stretch, but after going to the facility several times, I've seen tiny kids doing exactly that!

We haven't done more than the orientation and one lesson, but so far he seems to LOVE it. He was splashing and smiling and generally having fun. One of the exercises is to hold him by the head, backwards, so he's floating on his back with his ears in the water. I thought he'd throw a fit, but he just looked up at me and smiled. He didn't yet go fully under the water. We practiced the activities, all while keeping his head above water. They take it in second increments, so at his next lesson he'll go under for one second, then two seconds, etc.

He was the youngest in his class, but did all the activities with the least fussing and with the most smiling. The teacher applauded him when we left and said that she's excited to have him back next time. It felt so good to have his teacher be proud of him, and it gave me a glimpse of the future: of being proud of him in future situations. 

He was so into it and was so happy, I think he might just be 'a swimmer.' Maybe we're raising the next Michael Phelps?

A Wellness Lesson?

I broke my foot at my wedding.

As best as I can tell, that's when it all began. 3 years and 8 months ago, my lesson in wellness (for lack of anything better to call it) started. And it wasn't a lesson I began by choice.

So, I wish there was an awesome story to go along with my broken foot, but there isn't really. There wasn't some death-defying activity involved, just a fabulous night spent dancing with my closest family and friends. While wearing a very heavy wedding dress. (I must pause to say how awesome I still think my dress was. Lace and beading all over, and tons of tulle and a HUGE train.) Anyways, I danced every single dance at my wedding... the polkas, the chicken dance, the cupid shuffle, the swing ones, the slow ones, the fast ones. Everything. And doing that, even though I was wearing black & white peddle pusher-like dancing shoes, in my heavy dress was too much for that tiny bone in my (rather small) foot.

I didn't even notice anything until the next day when we were getting ready to go to the brunch. I couldn't put weight on my left foot. I thought then (which now seems ridiculous) that it must have just been a tight tendon or something, so I passed on my cute heels and opted for flip flops, but was still hobbling around all day. (What makes this part of the story even "better" is that we honeymooned in the Smokey Mountains, and since I thought it was just a tight tendon, I thought taking hikes--of like 8 miles--would do me some good. I couldn't understand why it didn't make it hurt less, but rather more. <total forehead slapping moment 3 years later>)

When two months later I was still unable to go running because of foot pain, I decided to go to my Dr. She immediately referred me to a specialist, they took an x-ray, and came in with a boot. It was broken. I was to wear the boot for 6-8 weeks. Ugh. But that's not even the worst part! The worst part is that because I had been so delinquent in my going to the doctor, my hiking, and all the repeated attempts at running, I had caused permanent damage to my foot. I would likely never be able to wear heels as comfortably as before, and most likely, the doctor said, my running days were over. (I should clarify that I was never really 'a runner', but a 'half jog/half run/half walker.")

And then it was winter.

And then we were both (suddenly) unemployed.

And then my husband was out of town 4 days of 7, and I spent most evenings alone.

And then it was winter.

And then we moved to TX, and I cried out of sadness multiple times each day.

And then I was unemployed for 4 months.

And then my appendages started falling asleep.

You know, when you lose feeling and then the 'pins and needles' start? Well, I'd wake up most every night, in the middle of the night, with something having fallen asleep. It was painful and annoying. And, though this wasn't the first of odd things happening, it was definitely the most noticeable.

And then I gave up all junk food for Lent. And GAINED weight. It was at this point, because we finally had medical insurance again, that I went to the doctor. After loads of testing, they finally figured out there was something up with my thyroid. Among other things, most of which have been previously documented, deal also the c-word, but in other parts of my body, but aren't specifically related to this story, my thyroid was enlarged and had a 'nodule.' After several tests, they determined it wasn't cancer, but that I needed to be on medication to reduce its size and hopefully lose the nodule.

After 11 months of working with one particular doctor (whose office I left crying every time because of her and her staff's rudeness), I switched to a new one. (Seth was quite convinced I needed a new one, the tears being only half the problems I'd had with them. <another forehead slapping moment all these years later> I should have switched MUCH sooner.) I continued to gain weight the entire 11 months, because though I was trying to live a healthy, active life, if your metabolism isn't working, you have a huge uphill battle to fight, and I wasn't able to overcome that.

During this time, I had met with about 5 different specialists (for all the variety of things going on with me), given up all added hormones to my body, done loads of food allergy testing, done elimination diets for the better part of 4 months, and met with my naturopath every couple weeks to monitor progress. And yet, still, the pounds kept coming, and I kept having these weird things (appendages falling asleep, etc) happening.

After meeting for the first time with my new doctor, she switched my medicine around, was convinced that she could get things corrected fairly quickly, and stated she didn't understand why my previous doctor had been unable to. Neither did I. I went back three months later for my physical and to check how my thyroid was responding, hopeful that it would be under control, or nearly under control, and that I would then be able to start losing the weight I'd gained. And that's when I got the news.

I was pregnant. Pregnancy for me meant being sea sick 24/7. The only thing that made me feel remotely human was lying horizontal with my eyes closed. I couldn't bend over, I couldn't walk, I couldn't watch tv, and I certainly couldn't read (which, for this avid reader was life-altering. Plus, the thing I normally do when I have to just lay around, I couldn't do. I didn't know myself.) I did nothing but lie flat for the better part of 9 months, just wishing the queasiness would subside. I didn't eat very much (who wants to eat when you feel sea sick?), but I was also extremely inactive. For the first time in years, I actually lost weight. That didn't last long though, because towards the end of the third trimester I started to feel less sea sick, and started eating again, but the heartburn and hugeness caused me to continue to be inactive. Overall, I gained a reasonable, relatively small amount of weight while pregnant. (But that's not much consolation to me as I'd already been adding pounds for years, and any more just felt like a death sentence.)

But, since giving birth (7 months ago!), I've had the most-varied, most worst-luck health-wise. I have had: a sinus infection (actually had it when Austin was born, and it took several weeks to go away), two root canals, a crown, an allergic reaction to penicillin (which was new to me, I'd been pumped with it while in labor, so this reaction, on Christmas, was a total shocker and a bummer), severe food poisoning, an ear infection, an unexplainable rash covering both arms, several bouts of vertigo, a bum hip, another sinus infection, stomach flu, two rounds of different types of allergy testing, and most recently have sprained my ankle. I honestly don't think I have had a string of 7 days where I've felt healthy/been uninjured more than twice in the last 7 months. Seriously.

And so, the pounds have continued to add on. I haven't worn my wedding ring for over a year and half. The thought disgusts me. And now, I'm looking at the calendar... I'm looking at the fact that I'm going home in 3 weeks for the first time since August of 2008 (for Heather's wedding), and I'll be approximately 50 pounds heavier. I guess part of the reason I'm even writing this note is to tell everyone back home in advance so I don't have to see the shock on their faces when I see them for the first time. I'm sure that people who see me on a regular basis (i.e. TX folk) have noticed too, but that's been more gradual, and thankfully, no one has said anything.

But the biggest reason I'm writing this is to ask for support, love, encouragement, and most of all, prayer. I just want to be healthy. I want to not be sick, not be injured, and not feel dizzy (vertigo) or queasy so that I can again be the healthy, active person I am. Inside. Underneath all this extra weight. I want to go on walks with my family and enjoy it. I want to not be hot all the time. I want to get on the floor and play with my son and not struggle to get back up again. It's embarrassing. Embarrassing and gross. I hate what the mirror shows me. And I hate how this weight has affected what's on the inside as well. I'm not the same person I used to be. My personality has been affected. That's the worst.

So, back-home folks... consider yourself warned.

So, people who love me... pray. I'm ready for this wellness lesson to be over. Please ask God to finish the lesson, give me assistance in regaining health (and fitting into my clothes and ring again), and knowledge about why I've gone through this. What it's all been for, I have no idea. But, whatever it is, I'm ready to take the final and move on. Enough is enough.