I will be the first to admit that I hate the "too busy" excuse. It's like a catch-all for everything these days... I can't come to your party because 'I'm too busy.' I can't help you with that volunteer project because 'I'm too busy.' 'We're too busy' to have time for that, thanks though. Ugh! When someone offers that as their reason for not doing something, not coming to something, etc, it makes me want to scream!
Unfortunately, though, we have been the ones dolling out the above excuse lately. We have been "too busy."
I'd like to think that this wasn't our fault. I'd like to blame something/someone else. I'd like to tell you that we didn't set out to be too busy, that it was simply an unfortunate way that our commitments collided to make April our busiest month ever. I'd like to say that we couldn't help it. We were victims of circumstance. I mean, we generally keep ourselves fairly involved which often equals busy, but this month has been completely out of control. And while I do honestly think it was an unfortunate way some of our commitments collided, that wouldn't be taking ownership of the problem or problem-solving for the future.
I would, however, now that the month is over, like to give a few examples of what we're up to last month. (Please note: this is not to add to our list of 'too busy' excuses, but to literally give you a glimpse into what we were up against last month. This is not my way of bragging about our busyness. Last month wasn't pretty, and I'm certainly not proud of it, but want you to have a better understanding of what I mean when I say that April was out of control for us.... Just for the sake of information sharing.)
Here are a few Saturday examples:
Saturday, the 14th (all times approximate):
6am--up to get Jessica's stuff (which has been at the house) loaded into the Envoy
6:45am--Seth and Jessica leave to get the UHaul and then move her belongings from the storage unit to her new (finally ready) apartment
10:45am--Austin and I walk to go to a neighbor girl's 2nd bday party
noon--Daddy arrives at said party just in time for us to leave to go home
1pm--Austin goes down for his nap; Daddy mows our lawn and the neighbor's lawn
4pm--Austin is up and we go for his first official haircut, after stopping at Target on the way there for needed supplies for our evening meeting
5pm--Austin has his hair cut
6pm--Pool mtg. at the pool, Momma drops Daddy and Austin off and goes to CVS to buy cold medication before coming back to the meeting
7:30pm--meeting is done and attempt to leave pool, realize Austin's had a major blow out--Daddy strolls Austin home
8pm--Austin's bedtime, Momma/Daddy collapse after giving a bath and doing two loads of laundry to clean up from the blow-out, including taking apart the entire stroller to wash it
Saturday, the 21st (all times approximate):
6am--up to get ready for the March for Babies walk
7:15am--leave the house to stop for breakfast and then meet the shuttle at 7:45
11am--finish walk, head to lunch to celebrate
12:15pm--arrive home, and go immediately next door for neighbor girl's 5th bday party
1pm--Austin to nap, Momma to clean house, Daddy to Pool Board meeting
3pm--Daddy mows and edges lawn
4pm--Austin up from nap, Momma dresses him for the next event while Daddy gets cleaned up from the yard work
4:40pm--head to next event
5pm--Crossroads picnic
7:30pm--head home
8pm--Daddy gives Austin a bath, followed by some aloe for the sunburn already showing up on his face from the morning walk (bad sunscreen application); Momma/Daddy collapse. Again.
Here are a few Sunday examples:
Sunday, the 15th (all times approximate):
7am--up to get ready for church/Sunday school
8:30am--leave for church
12:15pm--leave for home
12:30pm--eat lunch
1pm--Austin goes down for nap, Daddy goes to the pool to get ready for the meetings that afternoon
2:30pm--Pool Member meeting
3pm--Pool Open House
4pm--Austin wakes up so Momma and Austin join Daddy at the pool
4:45pm--leave Open House
5pm--host Small Group: FAMILY
7pm--Small Group leaves, Austin gets bath and more dinner
8pm--Austin goes to bed and so do Momma and Daddy
Sunday, the 22nd (all times approximate):
7am--up to get ready for church/Sunday school
8:15am--leave early for church because Momma/Daddy are working in ComfortZone
12:15pm--leave for home
12:30pm--eat lunch
1pm--Austin naps, Daddy finishes our lawn and heads to the pool to mow that grass while Momma cleans off the porch and patio
2pm--Austin up from nap, decides he's not going to take one
4pm--Daddy returns from pool
4:30pm--Once Daddy is showered, we head to the grocery store together (it'd been like 2 weeks!)
6pm--eat dinner
7pm--Austin gets bath and goes to bed
7:45pm--Seth takes Jessica's bike and mail to her at her new apartment
8pm--Momma sits down to watch Hallmark/ABC family movie--something she's been looking forward to for several months and has had it on her calendar since first hearing about it last fall
8:30pm--Daddy joins Momma on couch, we enjoy an ice cream treat
10pm-- movie is over; bedtime
A during-the-week, evening commitments example:
Monday--Chapters book club (Momma commitment)
Tuesday--Small Group: WOMEN (Momma commitment)
Wednesday--Rangers Game (Daddy commitment)
Thursday--Do stuff around the house that hasn't been gotten to all week because of other commitments and deal with a toddler unwilling to walk on his left leg
Friday--spend all evening as a family trying to come to terms with Austin's cast
I've been thinking that this busyness must mean we need to scale back our commitment level and the amount of things/organizations to which we volunteer, but all of the events, activities, commitments, etc that we have done this month are important to us. So, I'm not sold on that just yet. I mean, it isn't always like this. We haven't been to a neighbor kid's birthday party since we moved to Park Forest three years ago. We simply happened to get invited to two in one month. I'm certainly not willing to give up Chapters (my book club). Our Small Group is VERY important to us, so that's not going anywhere any time soon. The pool is one of our more-recent commitments, but Seth's the President and very unlikely to want to give that up. The Rangers games are something we could lose, but having bought half-season tickets has actually made us some money, and who am I to suggest Seth have less fun and work more?? And the lawn? Well, it needs to be mowed each week. Nothing can change that. And so does our neighbor's lawn, and they are unable to do it themselves. Thankfully, Seth is now sharing that responsibility with another neighbor, so he shouldn't have to do that but every other week. And the pool board is going to split the pool lawn responsibilities, so that shouldn't be on his mowing plate more than every third week or so.
Here's the thing, though... Because of the above list of 'important' things we've done this month, other 'important' things haven't happened. For example, we have been trying to have dinner with some friends of ours for a month. A Month. Since before Easter! I finally just emailed her and asked about May 12th. That's two weeks away! We will have put them off for a month and a half. That feels horrible. That feels selfish. That feels like I'm bragging about how busy we are. It feels down-right icky. ... Like I'm proud of it or think of it as something to make me feel good about myself or like I think it makes me cooler to be so busy. When actually, it only makes me feel sad and exhausted and more than a wee bit crabby. And Austin's 18-month pictures!? It's important to me to do those on the Saturday most-closely following his actual birthdate day, but now it's going to be over a month late. We couldn't do it a week early, we couldn't do it on the Saturday I prefer, and then by the following Saturday, he was in a cast! It bothers me that we created a schedule which makes important milestones like that something that gets sacrificed/put at the end of the priority list. (Don't even get me started about when we actually took his Progression Photo!)
I do know at least one thing for certain, though. This month has taught me that we need to say no to things even if we are actually available. We usually live by the motto which dictates that we don't say no to things unless we actually have a schedule conflict or something is already in that time slot. If we can squeeze it in, we do. I think, though, with our family continuing to grow, we need to realize that each event needs to have a bumper of empty time around it. Like those things they put in the gutters when kids bowl--something to prevent stuff from invading that space. I think we also need to realize that Seth is currently committed to mowing a lot of grass and that might need to take its own spot on the calendar. Like, it needs to have an appointment scheduled on the calendar for him to be able to mow the grass he's responsible for, and for it to also have a bumper of space around it.
And the last thing I know for certain? May is going to be MUCH simpler and slower. I can promise you that. (That's at least one positive about having a toddler in a full-leg cast.) Come on, May!